Tribute to Hephaestion 2012
by toobeauty
Summary: October was an odd month for Alexander ...


TITLE: _** "October"**_

PAIRING: Hephaestion and Alexander.

CATEGORY: Historical AU.

DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, no harm intended, everything is product of my imagination, but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with the blue eyed god.

WARNINGS: very sad so have tissues near …

NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.

FEEDBACK: Comments are love! Any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: The words in bold belong to the lyrics of "October" by Evanescence. I know that the Ancient Greeks did not name the months as we do but the song name fitted so well that I used it.

I don't remember where I read that Hephaestion was born and died 8 months before Alexander so I am following that to fit the story.

* * *

Alexander was curled up on their loveseat; the same seat that they had brought from one of their first incursions to the eastern markets. That extraordinary and comfortable couch had perfectly fitted under their apple tree, the very same tree whose seeds had been the ones that Hephaestion had gifted Alexander when they were studying in Mieza more than twenty-five years ago. The king of the known world was wearing a well-worn midnight blue cloak and his hands were caressing the soft fabric, making him remember about the time when he had given it to his beloved and how much the slender brunette had liked wearing it.

The young conqueror had not been feeling well lately, it seemed as if the summer this year had been hotter than usual, or may be it was because his soul mate was not there to share his days bathing with him in their secret waterfall. Alexander let a tiny smile appear in his gloomy face because his Phai was well known for enjoying long baths in the river but also for his eternal hate for the cold weather and that image brought another memory, one much sadder.

His gorgeous soul mate, his faithful Companion, his wise Chiliarch, his brave General had been cold for the last seven months and this month, the eight, had been worse for Alexander, especially because he had been feeling very depressed for the last days and he dreaded to think how he would feel when the twelfth month arrived.

October was the month that had seen his lover enter this world and also the one that had seen him leave it. October was an odd month and the great King knew that he was not doing well at all right now; he was afraid of not seeing that dreadful month come the present year.

He wrapped the cloak closer to his body and looking at the starry sky, he poured his fears, thoughts and wishes out in a whisper, wishing that the gods could take them to his Phai so his soul mate knew that he was thinking about him.

_**I can't run anymore**, my love, my bones ache and my heart is heavy; **I fall before you**, in front of that bust of yours in our bedroom and all I can say is that **here I am**, alone and sad, **I have nothing left** to live for. **Though I've tried to forget** how much I miss you, **You're all that I am**, so please **take me** **home** with you, **I'm through fighting it**, I cannot go on like this anymore, so **broken, lifeless** …_

_I know I told you that I would never **give up**, but you have to understand that **you're my only strength** and that **without you** by my side, **I can't go on, anymore … ever again.** _

_I want everybody on this earth to know that you have always been **My only hope, My only peace, My only joy, My only strength, My only power, My only life … My only love.****  
**_

_My dear Hephaestion, I failed **all the times I've tried to walk away from you**, when the pressure was so much and the rest of my people could not understand me as well as you do but I knew **I** could always **fall into your abounding grace** **and** that **love is **always** where** you are, no matter how far, no matter how long I do have to wait until we reunite again … _

_My love, **I can't run anymore, I give myself to you**, my heart, soul and body are yours._

_**I'm sorry, in all my bitterness, I ignored all that's real and true, **because All I need is you._

_**When **this** night falls on me, I'll not close my eyes,** I don't want to fall asleep alone again because unfortunately **I'm too alive** and you are not. You have always been **too strong**, stronger than me so that is why I **can't lie anymore, I fall down before you**, I want Death to come and take me with you, **I'm sorry** if I disappoint you but I can't go on anymore ..._

… And his steadfast lover was not disappointed at all so the great Macedonian king did not have to live another October alone ….


End file.
